WELCOME!

Welcome! Thank you for stopping by our page! I'm a 36 year old educated stay at home mother of a energetic 3 year old boy who keeps me on my toes! I like to research all sorts of craft ideas, recipes, activities for my son, home remedies, DIY, all the best freebies, deals, coupons, and more! God Bless The USA!

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Saturday, August 27, 2011

New Printer & Today's Shopping Trip


Today was going to be an expensive shopping trip for us. I had $200 budgeted to get needed groceries & supplies, price match items, coupons for items I wanted to check out before they expired and a new printer. My old Lexmark ran out of ink before I got this new laptop. When I got online again and seen all those great coupons I was missing out on, I knew I had to try and budget in an ink cartridge ($35 for the one I needed) or possibly a new printer. Wal-mart no longer carries the ink cartridge I needed, the only place was online. Mom and I researched several new printers and I decided on one that didn't have expensive ink cartridge refills. Got my new one today for $38, it isn't wireless, but its super nice and it came with both ink cartridges! My total at Walmart was $182 before coupons and $160 after! Saved $20, got some more items stocked up for the bad pay months (winter) too! Used the $20 I saved to get the items on sale at the local grocery store, where I was able to score Ziploc storage bags (2/$4) and I had a coupon for a $1/2, not to shabby when you consider you pay $1 for the cheap ones and I got name brand for $1.50! Since I spent over $75 last time I got 5% off my total, making it less that $20! Feels good to be able to go below your budget and still get everything on the list! Think I better budget in ink cartridges for next weeks shopping trip, I'm printing coupons like crazy now!~Michelle

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Yard Sale Finds, Magazines & More!





This past Saturday I went to some yard sales. $20 in hand, I went to 4 yard sales and found some really great items that I can use. At the first yard sale I snagged 2 magazine holders for $1.50, got the magazines in them for free! What's so great about that you ask? I got july-sept issues of great magazines like: Ladies Home Journal, Better Homes & Gardens, Good Housekeeping and others. As well as, 2 yrs of a cooking magazine! I've already put most of them to good use by clipping the coupons inside them, highlighting interesting tips and recipes, finding websites with giveaways and so much more! What a great investment for my budding website! At the 2nd yard sale I got a box full of acrylic paints, brushes, & water colors. I got all that and the box for $3! I love to paint, my grandmother was known (in the family and friends) for her beautiful art work. I can only hope to be as talented as she was. Just tonight I got the water colors out for my son and we "painted" together for a while, made a mess but had fun! At the rest of the yard sales I found some winter clothes for my son, a long sleeve heavy duty LL Bean t-shirt ($2), roll up capri's for myself, .10-.25 toys for my son to destroy and some really cool antique plates, bowl, meat thermometer and garlic press.

In closing, I would like to let you all know that the pictures on the blog page work now!!! Click on the picture and it will re-direct you to the appropriate photo album.(click on photo there for description, for example: click here on (the blog)"What's for supper?" and it will re-direct you to my photo album in facebook. There you click on a photo to reveal the recipe.) Thank you for your patience as I've been building this page and I sure hope you enjoy all the savings I find on here as well as my other page, thriftyoutdoorsenthusiast.blogspot.com Please feel free to share your favorite recipe, home remedy, hints/tips, projects for children, craft ideas, yard sale deals, and more!~Michelle


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Eighteen Wheels, And a Dozen Stories

18 Wheels & A Dozen Stories...

True Life Stories from the Road

Part 1

Bath Room Humor

Trucker Lingo

Tales from the Tavern







Bath Room Humor

Chapter 1

How Women Really Act in The Rest Room




Sorry ladies, but it's time that someone tells the truth! Have you ever wondered what really goes on in the ladies bathroom? We don't always go in there to adjust our clothing, to check our make-up and hair or to gossip with our friends. Ladies stink and make noises too, just like men! I have been in numerous rest rooms where I have heard some of the most disgusting noises come out women! I have been fortunate enough a couple of times to be able to put a face with the assailant. On one occasion, I followed this lovely young woman wearing oh-so tight and fashionable clothing,into a 2 seater rest room. Ever heard of the "Taco Shits"? I was so embarrassed for her! Well, only for a few seconds anyway. I was having to hard of a time keeping my laughter at bay to be embarrassed for her for to long. Another time while I was using the rest room, I could hear this other lady grunting pretty hard and it wasn't to long until I heard her rip a good one followed by a splash and a sigh of relief. After leaving the rest room, I was telling my husband about the incident when an older woman, slightly red in the face, came shuffling out of the bath room. I did feel bad about all the stifled giggles that I had let out that I just know she had to hear. But you know what? One day I might be that old woman and I probably won't care what some punk-ass kid might think.




Chapter 2

Port-A-Potties & Rest Areas




I'm sure that every one has used a port-a-potty at least once in their life time and it's a memory no-one is likely to forget. Did you know that they have made upgrades to these stinky, hell closets? Out in California they have added sinks to the inside of the building or they have a mounted dispenser of hand sanitizer. At one shipping yard they have 4 port-a-potties divided by 2 outdoor sinks. With all these improvements you would think that they would do something about the smell or at least clean them out more than once every 2 weeks. Not to long ago we seen a couple of port-a-potties lined up between the divided freeway. It looked as though there was just enough room to park, possibly for that one trucker who just couldn't hold it anymore!




Did you know that rest areas in New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, and California all have wild life warning signs? There's nothing like running to the rest area rest rooms in the middle of the night knowing what could be out there. This is what they usually say: WARNING! Rest areas may be hazardous. Beware of rattlesnakes, large spiders, scorpions.....you get the idea. I have yet to see a rattlesnake, but I have seen my fair share of spiders and scorpions at the most inconvenient of times, not much you can do when you are sitting on the toilet except watch it come closer to you. Your only hope is that you can step on it before it bites or stings you. Some rest areas are very unique and are built in the strangest of places. I have been to rest areas that were built on old over passes. These can be seen mainly in Chicago, but there are others. There are rest areas and parking areas that over look some of the most beautiful landscapes. I have been fortunate enough to stop at many of these that are along Hwy 101 in California. There are others that have been built with pride for their state (Texas), some offer free coffee and information desks. I'm still looking for the one in California that offers free WI-FI!! When you do get the chance to get out and travel, check out some of the rest areas along the way and you never know what you will find. I have been fortunate enough to buy hand made jewelry and pottery that were made by the Navajo Indians. At others you will find interesting vending machines that offer ice cream, soup, sandwiches, and off-the-wall snacks. One of my favorite rest areas is located about 30 miles east of Flagstaff, AZ. Huge red mesas surround the buildings and you are allowed to climb up on the top of them and look around. My husband's favorite is a rest area that is located on I10 in the Texas Canyon (enormously large piles of rocks) which strange enough is located in Arizona.



Chapter 3

Humorous Bath Room Stories




Train, Train

One of my trucking buddies once told me about a time that he was almost caught using the bath room on the side of the freeway in Oregon. "Out of no-where I felt this white hot pain in my gut and I knew that I was in trouble. Praying for gas but getting more than I bargained for, I got off the freeway the best I could and jumped out of the truck. My wife, not knowing what the hell was going on, had to re-set the brakes right since I didn't have time to think about anything other than getting the hell out before I lost all control. About half-way through this ordeal, my wife started to yell out the door at me. I couldn't hear everything she said and started to turn around when I seen a very large bright light, illuminating me and the surrounding area. I realized at that moment what my wife was trying to tell me, it was a TRAIN! I yelled at her to turn off all the chicken lights and ducked between the truck and trailer. After the train passed I returned to the truck for some paper towels and a different pair of shorts. I couldn't believe it when she asked me what happened to the shorts, did she think I was going to bother washing them when it was easier to leave them on the side of the road? Besides, that was one smell I wanted to leave behind!"




Watch Your Step


My husband, Mike told me about another guy who while taking a crap on the side of the road, fell off a guard rail... A friend of Mike's was training a new guy (newbie, amateur) to drive. One day after going to bed, he got up and told the trainer to pull the truck over right now that he had to go. The only place to pull over was a wide spot next to a guard rail. The trainer had to park so close to the guard rail that the new guy had to step out on it. He told the trainer he would be right back, grabbed the paper towels and stepped out the door. He stepped off the guard rail only to find that there was no ground under him. Instead, the ground dropped straight down at the edge of the guard rail. The trainer noticed that he had been gone for along time, when the new guy finally came back and opened the door. The trainer noticed that the he was all scratched up, with only his underwear on and covered in shit. He told trainer that when he stepped off the guard rail he rolled straight down the hill shitting himself the whole way. After using all the water and paper towels in the truck the new guy said "Watch getting out of the truck on that side, the first step is hell!"




Hike Your Leg

I have this really great friend I met while I was attending truck driving school and I'm still not sure how he stayed sober enough to make it to class everyday. He told me that one time he was so drunk that he woke up in a puddle of piss. "I looked over at my buddy and asked him what the hell happened? "Well," he said "You thought it would be funny to piss like a dog. You got onto all fours, lifted your leg and pissed right there on the bed!" "After taking a long, hot shower I returned to the room and told my buddy, "The next time I get drunk and decide that I'm a dog, why don't you make me go outside instead of letting me make a fool of myself?" "Why?" he said "It's a hell of a lot more funny when I leave you alone."




The Water Fall


This next story comes from personal experience but I promised I wouldn't tell who the perpetrator was but I can't figure a way to tell this story other than my first hand experience. I LOVE YOU MIKE!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! THIS STORY IS JUST TO GREAT TO NOT TELL! Later on in this series I will be telling stories about bars and such this story should be told at the end of our New Year's bash in Connecticut but....After a night of drinking, dancing and celebrating we retired to our truck which was parked in the "back pasture" lot of the resort. Treading through ankle deep snow we finally made it inside and settled down for the night. About 3 hours after laying down, I was awakened abruptly by the sound of running water. Looking around I noticed that my loving, drunk husband was lying on his back peeing his little heart out. "What do you think you are doing?" I asked. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he said. "Do you have any idea where you are?" "In the bath room, where else?" "No, your not in the bath room! Your pissing in the bed and its coming towards me!!" I may have

been a little rough but I wasn't exactly happy about getting pissed on. After cleaning up the mess, flipping the mattress over and replacing the sheets we were finally able to get some rest with out any 'surprises'.










Trucker Lingo

Chapter 1

The Trucker Lingo Glossary




Have you every listened to a C.B. Radio and wondered what the hell they were talking about? Alpha numerics and 10 codes aside, truckers have a style of slang all their own. I have put together a glossary of terms and definitions to help non-trucking civilians understand our lingo better:







Zipper Line: The yellow dotted line in the middle of the highway.




Gator: The tread off a big truck tire that has blown

most commonly off a recap (reconditioned/retreaded tire).




Four Wheelers: Cars, pick-ups, & suv's that are most commonly a pain in the ass.




Evil Kenevil: Motor cycle cop.




Parking Lot: A truck that hauls automobiles. This term is also used when defining a traffic jam.




Dry Box: A box trailer with out a refrigeration unit.




Garbage: Produce load.




Reefer: A refrigerated, insulated box trailer.




Skate Board: A truck pulling a flat bed trailer.




Bed Bugger: A truck that moves house hold goods from one home to another.




Chicken Truck: A truck that actually hauls chicken. Also used to describe a well-lit truck.




Seat Cover: A hot, sexy, guy or gal riding in a four wheeler.




Lot Lizard: A prostitute working a truck stop.




Horizontal Hostesses: See Lot Lizard




Recreational Reptiles: See Lot Lizard




Polar Bear: A white marked or unmarked police car.




Plain Wrapper: UN-marked police car.




City Kitty: (I used to be one of these!) A city police officer.




Smokey Bear: Any law enforcement vehicle.




Full Grown Bears: A state trooper.




County Mounties: (Mike used to be one of these!) Sheriff's

deputies, county police cars.




Diesel Bears: Police officers that deal mainly with commercial vehicles, aka big trucks.




Chicken Coops: Weigh Stations or scale houses.




Naked Birds: What a trucker calls his load of chicken.




Chicken Juice: Ever followed a big truck and wondered what that was draining from the back of his trailer? It's not always water! This is the water drain off from fresh chicken. Some say its a great for breakfast.(Not really)




Sail Boat Fuel: An empty dry box or reefer trailer.




Hammer Lane: The left lane on the interstate.







Bull Wagon: A truck that hauls livestock, mainly cows.




Front Door: This is a truck that the truck driver follows when breaking the speed limit.




Back Door: The last truck in the line thats following the front door, keeping watch on what's coming up behind them.




Convoy: A long line of trucks running together. Sometimes this can be done at a high rate of speed, not speaking from experience or anything. LOL







Roach Coaches: Portable concession stands. Most of you have seen these at fairs and carnivals. These are a bit different than those. You can find these at shipping and receiving yards all around California and Arizona; some are even hanging around the grocery warehouses on the East coast. They offer a wide variety of food from chicken on a stick, to burgers, and home made burritos.




Bug Checks: These are border patrol check stations located mostly in New Mexico, Texas, Arizona and California Most check for illegal aliens and drugs some others check for actual bugs that could be contaminating a produce load.








Tales from the Tavern




Chapter 1

Bars Across America





Throughout these past 6 years I have had several opportunities to visit many bars and taverns across this great country of ours. Each place has its own story and I have selected some of our favorite stories to share with you. So, go grab a cold one and enjoy!




Bar Name Here/Utica, NY




A few years ago we got a chance to check out Utica, NY. Arriving the night before we had to pick up a load of beer, we found a place to park and decided to check things out. After dragging Mike through an antique shop/flea market, we decided to stop in at a local bar. I walked down to a local pizza-ria and got 4 slices of the most wonderful pizza I have ever ate! After enjoying our meal, we began drinking and talking to the locals. Before to long we become quite popular since we are the only southerners in there. We didn't have to buy to many of our own drinks, between the bar owner and the locals we only spent $20 on alcohol. It was the first time I've ever seen my husband dance by himself. I wasn't embarrassed either, he looked like he was having so much fun! There was this really great band there and we got to know them as well. I did buy one of their Cd's and I made each one of them sign it telling them the whole time that I was going to sell it on e-bay one day when they were really famous. We had a really great night, and we left so drunk that we couldn't get the key to fit in the door. After figuring the key problem out, I started getting ready for bed and Mike passed out in the driver's seat. I nudged him to wake him up and when tried to get up, he fell over in between the seats. He mumbled something and passed out again. I took a good look at him, I wanted to remember this so I could razz him about it later. He was laying on his right side with his feet on the driver's door and his head up against the bunk. I woke him up again and he sat back up in the chair. I let him stay up there for a little while and passed out in the bed. I woke up about an hour later to find him back in the floor in the same position! Finally I got him to wake up long enough so I could get him to bed. Waking up the next morning was great for me and terrible for Mike. In my entire life I have never had a hang over (I'm about a ¼ Irish). Ironically, we had to pick up a load of the same beer he had gotten so drunk on. I swear he puked the entire time they were loading us. My poor man! I didn't feel that bad since he had brought it on himself, but I couldn't stand to see him sick. I tried to help by giving him sprite and crackers but I found out that's not what is needed when you have a hang over!




Banger's Bar/Auburndale, WI




Back in 2004 we were on our way to make a delivery to the West coast somewhere, and we decided to stop in Auburndale, WI. Poor mike, yet again I dragged him through the local antique store/flea market (he likes it as much as I do but don't tell him I said so, ego thing). We had worked up quite the appetite and decided to try out the local tavern. We ordered a large pile of cheese curds (OMG!) and some of the best burgers around. After supper we started up a conversation with some local guys that were sitting near by. They talked us into trying this new drink called a "Yager Bomb". Not really a fan of neither red bull nor yagermiester, I didn't think I would like this new drink to well. Boy was I wrong! If you haven't tried one yet, you should! They can be quite addicting, especially when every time I came back from the rest room I would find a fresh drink waiting for me. We decided to challenge these Northerners and they accepted. Much later in the night, I noticed that one of the guys had been in the bathroom a lot longer than he should have and I told Mike to go check on him. Not finding him in there, we looked outside and the guy was passed out in the passenger seat of his friend's truck. After getting them home safely, we partied with the owner until after closing time. Since we were so far ahead of schedule, Mike got the chance to sleep his hang over off this time and we went back into the bar for another round of cheese curds and burgers.










Unknown Country Club/Somewhere in CT

Sorry, we can't remember what the bar's name was or where the heck it is in CT.




Ahh...Connecticut! We were lucky enough to deliver on New Years Eve and didn't have to worry about picking up a load until the day after New Years. We got permission to drop our trailer and started looking for a cool bar to bring the New Year in at. We stopped at a really cool "fisher man's wharf" style bar, this place had lots of cool nautical antiques but very few people. Asking around, we found that most of the locals were at the country club/resort. After making sure that we could attend, we got directions and took off. $40 per person was the charge just to be able to stay in the bar, but this was an open bar with a buffet of finger foods. We could have forked out the $60 a piece for the fancy dinner and dancing but being truckers and not having fancy clothes with us, we thought it best to stay in the bar. Good thing that we did too. One of the bartenders took us in and made sure that we got the good champagne at midnight not the cheap stuff that everyone else got. What a night! I kissed and hugged people I will probably never see again and got to sing that silly New Year's song with a bar room full of drunks! Eventually the fancy dress people began to mingle with the bar patrons and before we knew it we were swept up into a fabulous dance party that was pretty damn crowded! It was great to dance with different people and I had a wonderful time getting to know those dang Yankees a little better!!




Holiday Inn/Grand Island, NE




Later on in my installments I will be talking about break downs, and this bar story comes from one of those times that our truck broke down in Grand Island, NE. We ended up staying at the Holiday Inn for a 3 day weekend. The first night there is the most memorable. We decided to visit the bar down stairs and get ourselves something to eat. After a great steak dinner, we decided to get down to business and meet the locals and patrons of this little bar. We were fortunate enough to meet this guy who is from Australia, OMG!, what an accent! We found out that this was his first time to America and we had a great time visiting with him. We even exchange currency, a couple of my state hood quarters for 1 of his Australian coins. After the Aussie wimped out for the night, there was only 4 customers left including ourselves. The bartender decided to close early and the 5 of us had a great time drinking free Cabo Wabo shots, playing darts, dancing like fools with the music from the juke box and there was a wet t-shirt competition. As far as any winners go, the guys were flat chested as usual. For the competition with the gals, a winner could not be determined and we decided on a draw.




Just a Note...


I don't want everyone to think we are alcoholics, these stories took 6 years to compile and it's been since 2006 or so since we have had the opportunity to stop at a bar. I don't always go in there with the intention to get drunk and rarely leave in a drunken state. I enjoy hanging out with new people and being a part of their life for just a moment. Making memories and telling stories is just some of the great things about being a trucker. Approach each day with the determination, live one day at a time. Don't focus on the little things, this day is a gift to us from God. Make the best of what you have and live life to it's fullest. There may be no tomorrow, and no one knows what the future has to hold for us. Be sure that your loved ones and friends know that you love and care for them. To know God is to know peace. Be careful out there! I hope to have more installments uploaded to my blog space soon and I really hope that everyone enjoys reading this 4 part installment as much as I did writing it. We are having a great time reminiscing about the past. Michelle

P.S. Please feel free to leave any type of comment you wish, I want your complete honesty. I hope to publish a book one day.

18 Wheels & A Dozen Stories...

True Life Stories from the Road

Part 1

Bath Room Humor

Trucker Lingo

Tales from the Tavern







Bath Room Humor

Chapter 1

How Women Really Act in The Rest Room




Sorry ladies, but it's time that someone tells the truth! Have you ever wondered what really goes on in the ladies bathroom? We don't always go in there to adjust our clothing, to check our make-up and hair or to gossip with our friends. Ladies stink and make noises too, just like men! I have been in numerous rest rooms where I have heard some of the most disgusting noises come out women! I have been fortunate enough a couple of times to be able to put a face with the assailant. On one occasion, I followed this lovely young woman wearing oh-so tight and fashionable clothing,into a 2 seater rest room. Ever heard of the "Taco Shits"? I was so embarrassed for her! Well, only for a few seconds anyway. I was having to hard of a time keeping my laughter at bay to be embarrassed for her for to long. Another time while I was using the rest room, I could hear this other lady grunting pretty hard and it wasn't to long until I heard her rip a good one followed by a splash and a sigh of relief. After leaving the rest room, I was telling my husband about the incident when an older woman, slightly red in the face, came shuffling out of the bath room. I did feel bad about all the stifled giggles that I had let out that I just know she had to hear. But you know what? One day I might be that old woman and I probably won't care what some punk-ass kid might think.




Chapter 2

Port-A-Potties & Rest Areas




I'm sure that every one has used a port-a-potty at least once in their life time and it's a memory no-one is likely to forget. Did you know that they have made upgrades to these stinky, hell closets? Out in California they have added sinks to the inside of the building or they have a mounted dispenser of hand sanitizer. At one shipping yard they have 4 port-a-potties divided by 2 outdoor sinks. With all these improvements you would think that they would do something about the smell or at least clean them out more than once every 2 weeks. Not to long ago we seen a couple of port-a-potties lined up between the divided freeway. It looked as though there was just enough room to park, possibly for that one trucker who just couldn't hold it anymore!




Did you know that rest areas in New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, and California all have wild life warning signs? There's nothing like running to the rest area rest rooms in the middle of the night knowing what could be out there. This is what they usually say: WARNING! Rest areas may be hazardous. Beware of rattlesnakes, large spiders, scorpions.....you get the idea. I have yet to see a rattlesnake, but I have seen my fair share of spiders and scorpions at the most inconvenient of times, not much you can do when you are sitting on the toilet except watch it come closer to you. Your only hope is that you can step on it before it bites or stings you. Some rest areas are very unique and are built in the strangest of places. I have been to rest areas that were built on old over passes. These can be seen mainly in Chicago, but there are others. There are rest areas and parking areas that over look some of the most beautiful landscapes. I have been fortunate enough to stop at many of these that are along Hwy 101 in California. There are others that have been built with pride for their state (Texas), some offer free coffee and information desks. I'm still looking for the one in California that offers free WI-FI!! When you do get the chance to get out and travel, check out some of the rest areas along the way and you never know what you will find. I have been fortunate enough to buy hand made jewelry and pottery that were made by the Navajo Indians. At others you will find interesting vending machines that offer ice cream, soup, sandwiches, and off-the-wall snacks. One of my favorite rest areas is located about 30 miles east of Flagstaff, AZ. Huge red mesas surround the buildings and you are allowed to climb up on the top of them and look around. My husband's favorite is a rest area that is located on I10 in the Texas Canyon (enormously large piles of rocks) which strange enough is located in Arizona.



Chapter 3

Humorous Bath Room Stories




Train, Train

One of my trucking buddies once told me about a time that he was almost caught using the bath room on the side of the freeway in Oregon. "Out of no-where I felt this white hot pain in my gut and I knew that I was in trouble. Praying for gas but getting more than I bargained for, I got off the freeway the best I could and jumped out of the truck. My wife, not knowing what the hell was going on, had to re-set the brakes right since I didn't have time to think about anything other than getting the hell out before I lost all control. About half-way through this ordeal, my wife started to yell out the door at me. I couldn't hear everything she said and started to turn around when I seen a very large bright light, illuminating me and the surrounding area. I realized at that moment what my wife was trying to tell me, it was a TRAIN! I yelled at her to turn off all the chicken lights and ducked between the truck and trailer. After the train passed I returned to the truck for some paper towels and a different pair of shorts. I couldn't believe it when she asked me what happened to the shorts, did she think I was going to bother washing them when it was easier to leave them on the side of the road? Besides, that was one smell I wanted to leave behind!"




Watch Your Step


My husband, Mike told me about another guy who while taking a crap on the side of the road, fell off a guard rail... A friend of Mike's was training a new guy (newbie, amateur) to drive. One day after going to bed, he got up and told the trainer to pull the truck over right now that he had to go. The only place to pull over was a wide spot next to a guard rail. The trainer had to park so close to the guard rail that the new guy had to step out on it. He told the trainer he would be right back, grabbed the paper towels and stepped out the door. He stepped off the guard rail only to find that there was no ground under him. Instead, the ground dropped straight down at the edge of the guard rail. The trainer noticed that he had been gone for along time, when the new guy finally came back and opened the door. The trainer noticed that the he was all scratched up, with only his underwear on and covered in shit. He told trainer that when he stepped off the guard rail he rolled straight down the hill shitting himself the whole way. After using all the water and paper towels in the truck the new guy said "Watch getting out of the truck on that side, the first step is hell!"




Hike Your Leg

I have this really great friend I met while I was attending truck driving school and I'm still not sure how he stayed sober enough to make it to class everyday. He told me that one time he was so drunk that he woke up in a puddle of piss. "I looked over at my buddy and asked him what the hell happened? "Well," he said "You thought it would be funny to piss like a dog. You got onto all fours, lifted your leg and pissed right there on the bed!" "After taking a long, hot shower I returned to the room and told my buddy, "The next time I get drunk and decide that I'm a dog, why don't you make me go outside instead of letting me make a fool of myself?" "Why?" he said "It's a hell of a lot more funny when I leave you alone."




The Water Fall


This next story comes from personal experience but I promised I wouldn't tell who the perpetrator was but I can't figure a way to tell this story other than my first hand experience. I LOVE YOU MIKE!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! THIS STORY IS JUST TO GREAT TO NOT TELL! Later on in this series I will be telling stories about bars and such this story should be told at the end of our New Year's bash in Connecticut but....After a night of drinking, dancing and celebrating we retired to our truck which was parked in the "back pasture" lot of the resort. Treading through ankle deep snow we finally made it inside and settled down for the night. About 3 hours after laying down, I was awakened abruptly by the sound of running water. Looking around I noticed that my loving, drunk husband was lying on his back peeing his little heart out. "What do you think you are doing?" I asked. "What does it look like I'm doing?" he said. "Do you have any idea where you are?" "In the bath room, where else?" "No, your not in the bath room! Your pissing in the bed and its coming towards me!!" I may have

been a little rough but I wasn't exactly happy about getting pissed on. After cleaning up the mess, flipping the mattress over and replacing the sheets we were finally able to get some rest with out any 'surprises'.










Trucker Lingo

Chapter 1

The Trucker Lingo Glossary




Have you every listened to a C.B. Radio and wondered what the hell they were talking about? Alpha numerics and 10 codes aside, truckers have a style of slang all their own. I have put together a glossary of terms and definitions to help non-trucking civilians understand our lingo better:







Zipper Line: The yellow dotted line in the middle of the highway.




Gator: The tread off a big truck tire that has blown

most commonly off a recap (reconditioned/retreaded tire).




Four Wheelers: Cars, pick-ups, & suv's that are most commonly a pain in the ass.




Evil Kenevil: Motor cycle cop.




Parking Lot: A truck that hauls automobiles. This term is also used when defining a traffic jam.




Dry Box: A box trailer with out a refrigeration unit.




Garbage: Produce load.




Reefer: A refrigerated, insulated box trailer.




Skate Board: A truck pulling a flat bed trailer.




Bed Bugger: A truck that moves house hold goods from one home to another.




Chicken Truck: A truck that actually hauls chicken. Also used to describe a well-lit truck.




Seat Cover: A hot, sexy, guy or gal riding in a four wheeler.




Lot Lizard: A prostitute working a truck stop.




Horizontal Hostesses: See Lot Lizard




Recreational Reptiles: See Lot Lizard




Polar Bear: A white marked or unmarked police car.




Plain Wrapper: UN-marked police car.




City Kitty: (I used to be one of these!) A city police officer.




Smokey Bear: Any law enforcement vehicle.




Full Grown Bears: A state trooper.




County Mounties: (Mike used to be one of these!) Sheriff's

deputies, county police cars.




Diesel Bears: Police officers that deal mainly with commercial vehicles, aka big trucks.




Chicken Coops: Weigh Stations or scale houses.




Naked Birds: What a trucker calls his load of chicken.




Chicken Juice: Ever followed a big truck and wondered what that was draining from the back of his trailer? It's not always water! This is the water drain off from fresh chicken. Some say its a great for breakfast.(Not really)




Sail Boat Fuel: An empty dry box or reefer trailer.




Hammer Lane: The left lane on the interstate.







Bull Wagon: A truck that hauls livestock, mainly cows.




Front Door: This is a truck that the truck driver follows when breaking the speed limit.




Back Door: The last truck in the line thats following the front door, keeping watch on what's coming up behind them.




Convoy: A long line of trucks running together. Sometimes this can be done at a high rate of speed, not speaking from experience or anything. LOL







Roach Coaches: Portable concession stands. Most of you have seen these at fairs and carnivals. These are a bit different than those. You can find these at shipping and receiving yards all around California and Arizona; some are even hanging around the grocery warehouses on the East coast. They offer a wide variety of food from chicken on a stick, to burgers, and home made burritos.




Bug Checks: These are border patrol check stations located mostly in New Mexico, Texas, Arizona and California Most check for illegal aliens and drugs some others check for actual bugs that could be contaminating a produce load.








Tales from the Tavern




Chapter 1

Bars Across America





Throughout these past 6 years I have had several opportunities to visit many bars and taverns across this great country of ours. Each place has its own story and I have selected some of our favorite stories to share with you. So, go grab a cold one and enjoy!




Bar Name Here/Utica, NY




A few years ago we got a chance to check out Utica, NY. Arriving the night before we had to pick up a load of beer, we found a place to park and decided to check things out. After dragging Mike through an antique shop/flea market, we decided to stop in at a local bar. I walked down to a local pizza-ria and got 4 slices of the most wonderful pizza I have ever ate! After enjoying our meal, we began drinking and talking to the locals. Before to long we become quite popular since we are the only southerners in there. We didn't have to buy to many of our own drinks, between the bar owner and the locals we only spent $20 on alcohol. It was the first time I've ever seen my husband dance by himself. I wasn't embarrassed either, he looked like he was having so much fun! There was this really great band there and we got to know them as well. I did buy one of their Cd's and I made each one of them sign it telling them the whole time that I was going to sell it on e-bay one day when they were really famous. We had a really great night, and we left so drunk that we couldn't get the key to fit in the door. After figuring the key problem out, I started getting ready for bed and Mike passed out in the driver's seat. I nudged him to wake him up and when tried to get up, he fell over in between the seats. He mumbled something and passed out again. I took a good look at him, I wanted to remember this so I could razz him about it later. He was laying on his right side with his feet on the driver's door and his head up against the bunk. I woke him up again and he sat back up in the chair. I let him stay up there for a little while and passed out in the bed. I woke up about an hour later to find him back in the floor in the same position! Finally I got him to wake up long enough so I could get him to bed. Waking up the next morning was great for me and terrible for Mike. In my entire life I have never had a hang over (I'm about a ¼ Irish). Ironically, we had to pick up a load of the same beer he had gotten so drunk on. I swear he puked the entire time they were loading us. My poor man! I didn't feel that bad since he had brought it on himself, but I couldn't stand to see him sick. I tried to help by giving him sprite and crackers but I found out that's not what is needed when you have a hang over!




Banger's Bar/Auburndale, WI




Back in 2004 we were on our way to make a delivery to the West coast somewhere, and we decided to stop in Auburndale, WI. Poor mike, yet again I dragged him through the local antique store/flea market (he likes it as much as I do but don't tell him I said so, ego thing). We had worked up quite the appetite and decided to try out the local tavern. We ordered a large pile of cheese curds (OMG!) and some of the best burgers around. After supper we started up a conversation with some local guys that were sitting near by. They talked us into trying this new drink called a "Yager Bomb". Not really a fan of neither red bull nor yagermiester, I didn't think I would like this new drink to well. Boy was I wrong! If you haven't tried one yet, you should! They can be quite addicting, especially when every time I came back from the rest room I would find a fresh drink waiting for me. We decided to challenge these Northerners and they accepted. Much later in the night, I noticed that one of the guys had been in the bathroom a lot longer than he should have and I told Mike to go check on him. Not finding him in there, we looked outside and the guy was passed out in the passenger seat of his friend's truck. After getting them home safely, we partied with the owner until after closing time. Since we were so far ahead of schedule, Mike got the chance to sleep his hang over off this time and we went back into the bar for another round of cheese curds and burgers.










Unknown Country Club/Somewhere in CT

Sorry, we can't remember what the bar's name was or where the heck it is in CT.




Ahh...Connecticut! We were lucky enough to deliver on New Years Eve and didn't have to worry about picking up a load until the day after New Years. We got permission to drop our trailer and started looking for a cool bar to bring the New Year in at. We stopped at a really cool "fisher man's wharf" style bar, this place had lots of cool nautical antiques but very few people. Asking around, we found that most of the locals were at the country club/resort. After making sure that we could attend, we got directions and took off. $40 per person was the charge just to be able to stay in the bar, but this was an open bar with a buffet of finger foods. We could have forked out the $60 a piece for the fancy dinner and dancing but being truckers and not having fancy clothes with us, we thought it best to stay in the bar. Good thing that we did too. One of the bartenders took us in and made sure that we got the good champagne at midnight not the cheap stuff that everyone else got. What a night! I kissed and hugged people I will probably never see again and got to sing that silly New Year's song with a bar room full of drunks! Eventually the fancy dress people began to mingle with the bar patrons and before we knew it we were swept up into a fabulous dance party that was pretty damn crowded! It was great to dance with different people and I had a wonderful time getting to know those dang Yankees a little better!!




Holiday Inn/Grand Island, NE




Later on in my installments I will be talking about break downs, and this bar story comes from one of those times that our truck broke down in Grand Island, NE. We ended up staying at the Holiday Inn for a 3 day weekend. The first night there is the most memorable. We decided to visit the bar down stairs and get ourselves something to eat. After a great steak dinner, we decided to get down to business and meet the locals and patrons of this little bar. We were fortunate enough to meet this guy who is from Australia, OMG!, what an accent! We found out that this was his first time to America and we had a great time visiting with him. We even exchange currency, a couple of my state hood quarters for 1 of his Australian coins. After the Aussie wimped out for the night, there was only 4 customers left including ourselves. The bartender decided to close early and the 5 of us had a great time drinking free Cabo Wabo shots, playing darts, dancing like fools with the music from the juke box and there was a wet t-shirt competition. As far as any winners go, the guys were flat chested as usual. For the competition with the gals, a winner could not be determined and we decided on a draw.




Just a Note...


I don't want everyone to think we are alcoholics, these stories took 6 years to compile and it's been since 2006 or so since we have had the opportunity to stop at a bar. I don't always go in there with the intention to get drunk and rarely leave in a drunken state. I enjoy hanging out with new people and being a part of their life for just a moment. Making memories and telling stories is just some of the great things about being a trucker. Approach each day with the determination, live one day at a time. Don't focus on the little things, this day is a gift to us from God. Make the best of what you have and live life to it's fullest. There may be no tomorrow, and no one knows what the future has to hold for us. Be sure that your loved ones and friends know that you love and care for them. To know God is to know peace. Be careful out there! I hope to have more installments uploaded to my blog space soon and I really hope that everyone enjoys reading this 4 part installment as much as I did writing it. We are having a great time reminiscing about the past. Michelle

P.S. Please feel free to leave any type of comment you wish, I want your complete honesty. I hope to publish a book one day.


Monday, August 22, 2011

7 Layer Salad


1lb small/plum tomatoes, seeded and finely chopped
1 green onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
½ jalapeno Chile, seeds and ribs removed, finely chopped
2 T lime juice
Salt and pepper
1 t canola oil
1 sm. Onion, finely chopped
½ t chili powder
1 can of pinto beans (15 oz), rinsed, and drained
1 ripe Hass avocado, pitted and peeled
1 T fresh cilantro, chopped
1 C whole corn, or fresh corn kernels from 2 ears
1 lg. red bell pepper, finely chopped
4 oz low fat sour cream
1 ½ oz low fat shredded cheddar cheese

1. In lg. bowl, combine tomatoes, green onion, garlic, jalapeno, 1 T lime juice, and ¼ t salt.
2. In 8” skillet, heat oil on medium. Add onion; cook 3-4 minutes or until golden, stirring often. Add chili powder; cook 1 minute. Remove from heat; add beans and 1/8 t each of salt and black pepper. Mash until almost smooth.
3. In bowl, with a fork, mash avocado, cilantro, remaining lime juice and 1/8 t salt, until almost smooth.
4. In 1 ½ qt., straight sided bowl, spread bean mixture in even layer. Top with corn and bell pepper. Spread sour cream and then the salsa (step 1) over vegetables. Dollop avocado mixture over salsa; spread into an even layer. Sprinkle with cheese. Serve immediately, or cover and refrigerate up to 2 hrs. Serve with tortilla chips (baked)

Pound Cake S’mores



1 frozen pound cake, thawed and sliced ½” thick
¼ C melted butter
1 bag of chocolate chips
1 bag of mini marshmallows

Brush each slice of pound cake with melted butter. Top each slice with chocolate chips and mini marshmallows. Add another slice of pound cake to form a sandwich. Toast on grill for about 3 minutes per side.

(Good Housekeeping 9/11)

Planning this weeks shopping trip: Price match ads from Target and Walgreen's

Most of you get the chance to look at your Sunday ads and coupons on Sunday. Sometimes I get to and others I do it later. This morning while having my cup of coffee, I looked through Target and Walgreen's ads and found a few things that interested me and I thought I would share with you. Some of the great deals at Target this week are .69 cent Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Coca-Cola 8pk 12 oz bottles are 3/$10 & you get free 8-14oz Bag of Archer Farms chips, (I can't do this deal as a price match ad, but I wanted to share), Free 24oz Oroweat 100% whole wheat bread when you buy any 2 sandwich fixings: 24ct Kraft Cheese singles ($2.99), 7-9oz Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh lunchmeat ($2.99), Free 12pk Nabisco munch pack or 20ct Capri Sun ($3.99 each) & .68 cent SpaghettiO's!! Walgreen's has a lot of great store coupons and register rewards. Since the closest one to me is over an hour away and we still don't have a/c in our vehicle, I don't get to shop in the store very often but I can have some items price-matched at Wal-mart. There is a buy 4 get 1 free Pepsi 12pks coupon as well as a .15 cent Mini Composition or Memo Book. The only sale item I seen that I'm going to try to price match is the BOGO on Chex Mix and Bugles, I am fortunate enough to have a couple of .35 cent off on 2 coupons that I will add to the discount. To view this weeks Target ad, just click on the title of this blog, it will re-direct you! For the Walgreen's ad copy and paste this link to your html:

http://walgreens.shoplocal.com/walgreens/default.aspx

Sunday, August 21, 2011

HOW I PLAN MY SHOPPING TRIP


Every week I go shopping, and every week I save money and spend money! I keep an on-going list near the fridge to write down items that need replaced and items that will need to be replaced very soon. From this list, I look at what is on sale at the local grocer, add super great deals to the list, if possible and see what is on sale that I will have to purchase there. I then check the other Sunday ads for items I need or super good deals that I can use my coupons on or have price matched at Wal-Mart. I then get my coupon binder out and pull out all the coupons I need for my list , coupons for the ad items if possible, and check the expiration date on all the coupons. I’ll pull out the ones that are about to expire, take them with me to check out the product and price. I don’t always buy the product and I send the about to expire coupons to @Coupons for heroes. Sound confusing? Start with your list, add the items from your ads that you would like to check out. Go through your coupons to match as many items you can. Pull out coupons that are about to expire. List these coupons separately on your list so you can see what you are looking for before digging out the coupons. Shop for the items on your list, special priced items from ads and your close to expiring coupons. Send off your close to expired or expired coupons to @coupons for heroes to help our military families over seas. I don’t keep an access of coupons in my binder. Just coupons for things I use and coupons for things I may want to try if the price is right. The rest of the coupons I file in envelopes by month for my giveaways and games. I don’t take my binder to the store, I have a 2 yr old boy and that would just be more ‘fun’ than I think I can handle! I do take my little coupon keeper, I file the coupons I plan to use and the ones I would like to check out in the appropriate files/folders. Very simple and easy indeed, wallet in back pocket, keys in front pocket, list/coupon keeper/ads in one hand and Kenley’s hand in my other. Shopping with a toddler has to be as interesting an quick as possible to ensure the sanity of yourself and other shoppers. Shop the frozen, dairy, deli, produce aisles last. I go to the back and work myself forward, to keep my cold things cold longer! Keep your toddler occupied like I do by letting him touch the fruit and vegetables. Tell them what it is, describe it to them and let them hold it. Be watchful of throwing and biting/tasting. Try doing this with different items you are purchasing. It helps them learn and stay calmer and saves your nerves from fraying!~Michelle


Friday, August 19, 2011

Yard Sale Find!!


I found this safety sleeper for my son at a yard sale last Saturday. New in bag, never even used, for only $3!!! As you can see it has already came in handy! I think I'm going to try and make some as crafts, maybe even try to sell them at our next craft show and possibly on here as well! Share your favorite yard sale find! I love to hear about your great find! I will share additional photos in another blog. Tomorrow is Saturday, and I'm going to see what I can find and spend $20 or less!~Michelle

What we did this afternoon


You're not going to believe this but, a buddy of my husbands' gave us a set of very good used tires with wheels and rims! All we had to do was go pick them up! So, we spent our afternoon changing out tires. To cool off, we all got in my son's kiddie pool! We had a blast splashing one another,& squirting our little man with the water gun! After a shower, we went grocery shopping! I will post a blog tomorrow about my shopping adventures and how to budget in today's economy! Next, I will be posting a blog about a yard sale find and craft idea!~Michelle

Spending time with my family

Wonder where I've been all morning? Spending time with my family. My hubby works 12 hr days, four days a week with a rotating day off schedule. I know if I was on here everyday, hours at a time, I would generate more profit for my business and provide my followers with more recipes, tips, crafts and more. However, my family comes before work. The only reason I am a stay at home mom is for my sons' welfare. I believe its imperative that I'm home with him during these tender years of his life. I'm not saying its easy or that it comes naturally. But it is very rewarding! Now, for the picture above, I got this Lincoln Log type set a couple of weeks back at a church bazaar. For only $10, I got a brand new in metal collectors tin a 380 piece, real wood, limited edition, log building set. We followed the instructions provided and studiously built these two cabins! Hope YOU are having a wonderful day with your family!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

How to save money on your groceries and supplies when you live in a rural area.

Where I live, the only choices for shopping are the dollar store, our local grocer, and walmart. About an hour away I can shop at walgreens, harps, target and kroger. An hour away in a vehicle that has no a/c can be very taxing when you have a 2 yr old! However, if I am going anyway I make sure I get my list ready along with my coupons and ads. Let's not forget about savings cards too! Lots of ways to save when I can get into the bigger towns. But I'm here today to talk about how to save at your local stores. I recently found out just what ads our local walmart will price match on. Boy was I suprised when they told me they honor the ads from the stores I listed above from the nearby bigger town! Next time your in walmart, ask someone at the customer service desk or simply ask your cashier like I did. I can now benefit from the ads that target, krogers, harps, walgreens, dollar general, family dollar, freds and a few more that I can't remember! Another way to save is to match your coupons with the ads, and have walmart honor the ad. I shop at our local grocer for anything I need that is on sale for the week. For example, our local grocer (Thriftway) is offering a 4lb bag of the best choice sugar for only $1 when you purchase $25. Since I need a couple of other items I seen in the ad, I don't think I'll have a problem getting my bag of sugar for a buck. The key is to know what you need, hopefully find a coupon for it, match that product to an ad if you can. I try to go to the Thriftway on Saturday's, since that's the only day they double coupons (up to 50 cents) but the do a stamp saving program that helps on the price of milk, eggs, bread, icecream, and water. In closing, I want to say thank you for stopping by and checking out my blog and listening to me ramble on about saving!~Michelle

Monday, August 15, 2011

Crafty, Couponing Momma's: Finally got my blog page done!!

Crafty, Couponing Momma's: Finally got my blog page done!!

Finally got my blog page done!!

Hi everyone! I finally got my blog page finished!! Please be patient with me as I figure all this out! I'm new to all this blog stuff but not at saving money, finding great projects for my son, painting my signs & making my windchimes for my mom's craft booth, I love to cook from scratch and researching helpful hints and tips for the home. Please let me know how I'm doing and if you have anything to contribute please do so! Share your recipes with pictures here and on my fb page! Share your savings and samples here! You got the picture? Share! So we can all benefit from your wisdom! Thank you so much for stopping by! Have a wonderful evening!~ Michelle